A very special ornament

I didn't put up my tree this year but I am hanging one very special ornament on my mantle. This ornament came from my Grandma Z's Christmas tree. She had an ornament for every person in our family. Her children, the grandchildren and great-granchildren and even some for family pets.

The cold weather we're having brought back memories of visiting our Ohio family after Christmas: grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It was often so cold and damp. If we were lucky, we'd see some snow. Grandma worked so hard to make it a nice Christmas dinner. Her house was always immaculate. We'd have a nice family dinner with most of us around the table(once we became adults) and then a separate kids table. Often there was a lot of picture taking before we could open any presents. I will always treasure the memory of those Christmas gatherings with grandma and my family.

Merry Christmas Grandma. I love you and I miss you.

More on Affection...

I have previously addressed how particular I am about touch and affection. However, I have no aversion to giving or receiving hugs. We all need a hug sometimes, right? I confess that I am usually one of those "wimpy" huggers who lets go quickly even when giving a hug. Sometimes I get fidgety and am anxious to be the first to pull away when someone hugs me. It usually depends on my mood or comfort level at the moment. I also recognize some people are not "huggers". Considering my own issues with space and receiving affection, I totally get that!
So what brings this up again? Last night I was talking with a good friend. I was sharing some personal issues with her and she was so sweet and supportive. Before we parted, she hugged me. A REAL hug that lasted more than 10 seconds. While not one to give those type of hugs, I do appreciate getting them. Usually it's when I need it the most. Sometimes you need to let someone hold you tight.

Grandma Z

One week ago, my beloved Grandma Z passed away. As mom said, "she fought the good fight." Grandma celebrated her 85th birthday in April. She lived a long, full life.

Grandma was always such a good spiritual role model for me. She was such a good person, did for others, was non-judgemental. There are seven grandchildren and she made sure she treated each of us the same...it was so important to her to treat us equally. I aspire to be like her...wonderful, loving, kind.

It was difficult living so far away from Grandma and Grandpa for so many years. We would visit them in the summer and usually at Christmas time. My brother and I remember Grandma Z always taking us school shopping when we visited in the summer. Sometimes they would come visit us here in South Carolina. I always waited anxiously for their arrival when I knew they were on the way down to see us. When we would visit her, she would always pull out chocolate chip cookies from the freezer. She'd tell us to wait a few minutes to eat them so we didn't "chip a tooth." I will be thinking of grandma when I bake some cookies later today.

Proverbs 31:28 says "Her children shall rise and call her blessed." And we were all blessed to know her and have her in our lives. I love you so much grandma. I miss you. Thank you for being you.

How Things Have Changed Since 1974...

I was talking to mom last night. Commented that it didn't seem possible that I am turning 35 this year. Mom said things have really changed since I was born. While she was still in the hospital after I was born, only she and my dad could hold me. However, my dad had to put on a hospital gown first. My grandparents came all the way from Ohio to see their first grandchild and were not allowed to hold me. My mom's parents came and stayed longer. I recall seeing a picture of Mimi holding me when I was an infant.
I don't think much changed in four years...fast forward to 1978. I saw a picture of dad holding my newborn brother while he was donned in full hospital gear...gown, cap, and mask. I doubt I got any closer to my little brother than peering in the nursery window until he came home with mom.
Fast forward again to 2003 and 2005 when my nieces were born. I got to hold them in the hospital room. All I was required to do was wash my hands before I held them. There were a lot of visitors after each child was born. I think most, if not all, got to hold the girls while in the hospitals.
Sometimes, change is good.

I was not expecting that!

Today I was at the allergist's office, trying to qualify as a participant in a research study. One of the qualifications in my pre-screening appt was getting at least 80% on the Spirometry or lung function test. I just wasn't getting it last week when I tried. Even after all the meds I have been on this week, trying to improve my lung function, it just wasn't working for me. The way they were doing the test was also slightly different than the way I'm used to doing it. I was initially told that I did not qualify, they didn't want to put me through the whole day thing when I came back if I couldn't reach the 80%. I guess I was more disappointed than I thought because next thing I know, I am crying. The nurse asked a couple of times if I was ok. How okay can I be if I'm crying? We went downstairs and tried to use the other machine and did the test the way I'm used to and it worked...I got the score I needed and I can participate in the study. YEA!
WHAT? Where did those tears come from? I am not emotional, especially in public. Needless to say, I was not expecting that reaction. The nurse probably wasn't either but she was very nice. Why is it that I cry when I don't want to but I can't cry when I want or need to release those feelings. I had to really fight to regain my composure. Usually I can "suck up" those tears if I think I'm going to cry and don't want to but today there was no stopping them.
Lately I've been trying to stick with the feeling and let whatever happens, happen. But good grief, I didn't really want the tears today.

Affection and Touch

I do not think I am as affectionate as I once was. Why that has changed, I'm not sure. I don't go around hugging everyone I see. I hug some of my friends and my mom. I love "loving" on my nieces....when they let me. Evidently, they aren't big on affection either, unless it's on their terms. I hug people whom I have not seen in a while like family members in Ohio. I will always hug someone when I want to offer comfort or sympathy. It breaks my heart to see a friend who is sad and perhaps crying.
I can usually tell if someone is a "hugger" by observing them. Do they hug others? Sometimes it's just a perception, they don't strike me as the affectionate type. I was surprised to see one person get hugged when we were "Sharing the peace" at church. She did not strike me as one who liked to be hugged.
Like my nieces, sometime I don't want to be touched. I need my space. I won't refuse a hug but I don't like to have my space invaded. I do not like to have someone hanging on me or leaning into me to whisper something. Some people need to learn about personal boundaries. If someone is in my face and in my space, I start backing away. I'm glad we have chairs in the choir loft now instead of the pews, this gives us our own seat and not as much chance for invasion of space as when we sat hip to hip.
I am very particular about touch. I do not like being patted on the hand/arm/shoulder. I find it very annoying and patronizing! I welcome a single, gentle touch to the hand/arm/shoulder. My mom often pats me on the leg but because it's mom, it's fine. I find it comforting to have my back rubbed(not patted!) when I need comforting.

Movies

I love "Chick flicks"..I own movies such as "Steel Magnolias," "Beaches," "Stepmom," etc. In addition to the sappy chick flicks, I also love comedies. Who doesn't want to watch a movie that makes you laugh? I recently saw "The Proposal"...it's a chick flick but it will also make you laugh. That will be a movie I will want to own when it comes out on DVD.
For those who know me well, it should come as no surprise that I love musicals. I have "Sound of Music," "Oklahoma," and "Carousel." I love this line from Sound of Music..."And my heart will be blessed with the sound of music...and I'll sing once more."
While I do love comedies there are some kinds of humor that I don't care for...like anything really vulgar or what you might call "guy humor." A friend wanted me to come over and watch a couple of movies with this type of humor. She was sharing some of the jokes and laughing. I was not. I've not seen "Hangover" and from what I've heard about the movie, I don't care to...this same kind of humor.
I appreciate David Spade's kind of humor...that dry, sarcastic, cynical stuff. I also love Robin Williams. He always makes me laugh.
Although some suspense is good, I do not like scary movies or horror films. I do not have much interest in adventure movies like Indiana Jones. Now if there is a comedic element like the Rush Hour movies, then I might be more inclined to watch them.
What kind of movies do you like?